24 years, 24 gifts.

So I’ve made it 24 years in this world. Go me! It’s a little upsetting that birthdays don’t seem as exciting anymore. I guess it’s normal. More and more, it just feels like another day gone by and I realize that really, it’s not all about me. Hmm, sounds cynical… but I don’t mean it to be. I just don’t get a kick out of planning huge parties for myself and expecting to be showered with gifts anymore. I just feel thankful. Thankful that I’ve made it to another year. So in an effort to keep the bigger picture in mind, here’s a list of some of the gifts that life has given me so far – that I stay indebted to.

  1. The people. Family, friends, enemies, boys, strangers – everyone. We all have lots of bad things to say about humankind. But in all honesty, I feel really lucky to be a part of what we are. We’re pretty  amazing. Which expands to my deep appreciation of my relationships – past, present, and future. Every interaction, good and bad, I am simply grateful.
  2. My shitty childhood. I mean, no one really knows. There’s a select few that I’ve shared stories with. No one knows all of it except myself, obviously. But who in the hell has time for that sob story? I used to spend so much time despising what I had to go through, hating life because of it all. Now I realize I’d be nowhere without those experiences.
  3. Korean food. Yeah I’m biased, but it really is the best. Hands down. If you’re one of those people that think KBBQ and kimchi is Korean food, go away. Along with those that think burritos and tacos are Mexican food, those that think kung pao chicken and broccoli beef is Chinese food, etc.
  4. The ’90s. Again – biased, but who the fuck cares. I killed bitches at pogs.
  5. Painful laughter. ROFL? LMAO? Alright, literally – I type this all the time and not ONCE have I really been rolling on the floor or even physically laughing. I probably just smile, if that. It’s ok, we all do it. There are only a handful of times I’ve laughed so damn hard that I’m crying and in real pain. I remember all of them. And damn… good times.
  6. Nature. Water, trees, air, dirt, animals, clouds, all of it. We live in a breathtaking world.
  7. Fear. What else pushes us that hard?
  8. Bad TV. The Bachelor, Jersey Shore, everything Kardashian, anything on Bravo. There’s just something about knowing how horrible that shit is, that makes it so damn good.
  9. San Francisco. The 1st and only place that’s ever felt like “home”.
  10. A$AP Rocky. Aka Lord Flacko. Aka Rakim Mayers. That pretty motherfucker. In love, OBSESSED. Any video on YouTube that has him in it? I’ve watched all of them. Le sigh…
  11. My sisters. One of my biggest accomplishments and treasures. Too much has changed, but nothing can kill what this sisterhood has given me, shown me, and taught me. Sigma Omicron Pi.
  12. Tears. If you really know me, you know I cry. And I’m really not ashamed.
  13. White boys. All day.
  14. Teachers and educators. The ones that don’t need a paycheck. The ones that actually care. The ones that make a difference.
  15. America. God bless the U.S. of A. Yeah there’s a lot of bullshit around here. But what place doesn’t? There will always be something wrong and there will always be someone pointing it out. Any damn place you live. So shut up and appreciate. Or just leave. You could do that, too.
  16. Carl Rogers. One of our forefathers of humanistic psychology. Thank you for the work you did and left behind. Your contributions continue to amaze the people. And I for one, choose to live by them.
  17. Hot showers. I really believe this is one of those things we take for granted way too much. Next time you have one, just stand there and take it in. Think about it. We’d be lost.
  18. Eyeliner. Can’t live without it.
  19. Writing. I’ve always enjoyed it, but just recently started utilizing it as therapy. Best decision of my life.
  20. Whiskey. Let me not sit here and pretend I’m some sort of a connoisseur. Because I’m not. But if we’re drinking, don’t ask me, “Clear or dark?”
  21. The music. I hate when people ask me what my favorite type of music is. Because half the time we ask this question, we innately judge each other or just lie. So let’s just not. Music is beautiful, no matter what you and I like. We don’t have to agree with what’s best, but at least be true to what you enjoy. Oh and listen to Radiohead. Just do it.
  22. Drugs. I’m proud to say I’ve been completely drug (and tobacco!) free since January of this year. Quitting the sticks was a conscious effort, but the drugs just kind of wore off. Not to go into too much detail – I’ve done and tried everything I was interested in. I’m a true believer that everyone should try what they want, if they want. If hard addiction kicks in, unfortunately, it was taken too far. But I’m no one’s mother. I just had an open mind, did what I wanted, and saw the world in so many different ways. Pun intended.
  23. Dreaming. You know, while sleeping. Having dreams is so fascinating to me. All the underlying causal beliefs, the vividness, the stories. So amazing.
  24. The mind. Probably the most important thing to me. I cherish my ability to think. I am nothing without my mind.
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